🔒 Closed Anonymous Cool Random Humor Funny Quotes (English)

[Cartridge]

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

-Sophie Kinsella

 

[Cartridge]

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.
-Anonymous

 

[silverkiss]

wag ma report ka.. gawa ka nalang thread mo sayo

syempre hindi dto lods

 

[Cartridge]

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency notify:"I put "Doctor."
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
-Mark Twain

 

[Cartridge]

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremedous boredom."
-Dave Barry

 

[Cartridge]

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
-Robert Frost

 

[Cartridge]

If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.
-Jack Adams

 

[Cartridge]

Once you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy.
Albert Einstein

 

[Cartridge]

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Rita Mae Brown

 

[Cartridge]

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.
Bernard Bailey

 

[Cartridge]

Be warned: I'm bored. This could get dangerous.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

If you're going through hell, keep going.
Winston Churchill

 

[Cartridge]

When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.
Steven Alexander Wright

 

[Cartridge]

No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.
Anonymous