🔒 Closed Anonymous Cool Random Humor Funny Quotes (English)

[Cartridge]

Nutrition labels should include an "What if I ate the whole thing" section.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

What's your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.
-Anonymous

 

[silverkiss]

Lods pwede pa copyright?

 

[Cartridge]

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it's a potato with fur.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Me: I am so glad I saved all this money. Me again: It's time to spend it, you know you want to.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

wag ma report ka.. gawa ka nalang thread mo sayo

 

[Cartridge]

I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you're hungry, and want to stay that way.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Shopping is the only exercise I need.
-Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size.
-Anonymous