🔒 Closed Anonymous Cool Random Humor Funny Quotes (English)

[Cartridge]

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

"Tomorrow is another day..." Oh sorry, I thought the world is ending today.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something?
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I'm off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work.
Anonymous