🔒 Closed Anonymous Cool Random Humor Funny Quotes (English)

[Cartridge]

Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities...
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Tell me what is your dream job? In my dreams I don't work.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Legend says that when you can't sleep, it's because you're awake in someone's dream. So if everyone could stop dreaming about me, that would be great.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Anonymous