🔒 Closed Anonymous Cool Random Humor Funny Quotes (English)

[Cartridge]

I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Me sarcastic? Never.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up!
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Just because it's a bad idea doesn't mean it won't be a good time.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."
Anonymous