🔒 Closed Anonymous Cool Random Humor Funny Quotes (English)

[Cartridge]

I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Lazy Rule: Can't reach it, don't need it.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Finally it's Friday and I can go out. I'm putting the garbage out and I'll be right back.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can't find them.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.
Anonymous