🔒 Closed Anonymous Cool Random Humor Funny Quotes (English)

[Cartridge]

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.

 

[Cartridge]

Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.

 

[Cartridge]

What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing.

 

[Cartridge]

I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous. But a super humid room... well not too humid, because you know... my hair.

 

[Cartridge]

How does a train eat? Chew, Chew...

 

[Cartridge]

I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.

 

[Cartridge]

Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day.

 

[Cartridge]

You know you're an ãdül† when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink.

 

[Cartridge]

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice.

 

[Cartridge]

Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake.

 

[Cartridge]

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad!

 

[Cartridge]

If Monday had a face... I would punch it.

 

[Cartridge]

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent.

 

[Cartridge]

I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow.

 

[Cartridge]

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.

 

[Cartridge]

Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.

 

[Cartridge]

I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal.

 

[Cartridge]

Smiles are contagious... be a carrier.

 

[JaysonRare]

deeym

 

[Cartridge]

You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.