🔒 Closed Anonymous Cool Random Humor Funny Quotes (English)

[Cartridge]

Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade."
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Always be positive. Trips down the stairs Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
Anonymous

 

[Cartridge]

What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing.
Anonymous

 

[notsniw301]

**** to ah hahahah

 

[notsniw301]

Okay lang kung gagamba e wag lang ipis

 

[notsniw301]

:LOLWKASF:

 

[notsniw301]

Lakas!!

 

[notsniw301]

Clever