PHProfessora Akira
āÆļø SĆ“ulNinetĆ£iLāÆļø
We are considered as social animal. We live in a world where even though there is a sense of individuality and personal space, it has to co-exist with a world view. We have the freedom, but rarely the freedom to do āanythingā we want to do. Rules and regulations however dictate how we live and behave with our fellow man, and rightly so, because only then, can a rational and right world exist.
There are some social rules which are unwritten, unspoken, yet everyone is expected to know. We give you a lowdown.
1. When you are over at someoneās place and they say, āI have a lot of work tomorrowā or āItās getting late.ā
This is your cue to take their leave because they really have to retire and no matter how pleasant, having friends/people over can be a taxing experience. While youāre at it, please clean up after you. Nobody likes guests who come over, trash the place, and leave.
2. When youāre riding with someone in their car for a considerable distance.
Four things here:
ā¢ Offer to split their fuel prices. Itās considerate and theyāll hesitate less if you ask them for a ride the next time.
ā¢ Donāt hog their radio/music player. Even if they do offer you to play your music, play something everyone will like.
ā¢ Donāt insult their car. Itās very inconsiderate, considering youāre getting an almost free ride.
ā¢ If youāre the only one sharing the ride, please sit in front. Nobody likes to feel like your chauffeur.
3. Your fragrance/cologne has to be discovered, not announced
Everyone likes a well-kept person, but not one who has bathed in perfume or deodorant. Every cologne has its own concentration levels, find it and apply accordingly. People like a soft fragrant breeze when you pass by them, not a waft of strong musk in their face.
4. Holding the door open or pulling the chair out for people is kind, regardless of gender.Chivalry is not dead, donāt kill it. When youāre in front of someone and stepping out, hold the door for others to pass, people will notice you and it will leave a good impression on them. It may even brighten their day if theyāre having a shitty one. If youāre with someone at a restaurant, hold the chair out for them. Everyone likes a well-mannered person. But donāt do the above if the people in question are far away and they have to do this awkward brisk walk just because you donāt have to keep the door open for a while.
5. When two or more people are huddled around you and are talking in low voices, theyāre probably having a private conversation.And they clearly donāt want you in on it. Learn to respect their privacy and excuse yourself quietly and gracefully. Theyāll appreciate your accommodating behaviour, and you just earned some social brownie points.
6. When someone is nervous or shy in a social scenario, DO NOT point it out to them.They know it better than you and pointing it out even in a joking manner or trying to make the situation light will decrease their confidence. Instead, distract them, make conversation, get them in a groove. Theyāll appreciate the help.
7. When making plans with friends in front of other friends.
Donāt. If you donāt want someone invited in your plans, donāt make them or discuss them while theyāre within earshot of you. It hurts their sentiments and eventually distances them from you. Not to mention if they invite themselves, thatās a whole new level of awkwardness. You donāt want that.
8. When in a social situation and you want to speak to someone you find attractive.Donāt overthink and overanalyse. Walk up to them and say hello. There is no better icebreaker in the world than a simple āHelloā followed by a smile. Donāt hit on them. Be a friendly new acquaintance. Politeness and good manners go a long way.
9. When someone you know has an obvious change in appearance, e.g., weight gain/loss, bald spot, acne.
It is rude and none of your business to comment on it. They already know about it and are feeling pretty bad themselves without you blatantly pointing it out to them. They might be working on it, but acknowledging what they have decreases their confidence in you and themselves.
10. When you want to send a point or suggestion across, hints wonāt work.
Donāt drop hints. It gets worse when people donāt get it, and when they do, it lowers your impression in their eyes. Speak up, itās the truth. You may come across as blunt and in-their-faces, but you will be appreciated for your honesty and straight talk.
11. Silence doesnāt have to be awkward.There is a reason the proverb goes, āSilence is golden.ā Silence is calm, serene. When in a social situation, always having something to talk is never necessary. Sometimes, silence is also appreciated, and it brings people closer too. There can be had many a conversation without a single word spoken.
12. Everyone has their personal space around them. Respect it.Donāt stand too close and talk. There is a socially acceptable distance at which you can stand and talk, that you can guess will make people comfortable. Even if youāre intimate with someone, itās still polite to talk with a respectable distance between the two of you.
13. When someone is walking their pet and you come across them.Please ask permission before you pet them. Many pets are newborns, or still young, and they arenāt as welcoming to strangers. They might get out of hand (literally, or otherwise) and harm you, or give their owners a hard time in getting them back in control.
14. An opinion is a very sensitive issue with many.
Just because you might be entitled to offer one, doesnāt mean that it is mandatory for you to do so. And if you are asked for one, donāt take offence if you are criticised for it. Itās okay for others to offer their opinions as much as it is okay for you to EĆĻrĆ©Å”Å” yours.
15. When talking on the phone and you enter into an argument.
Please do everyone else a favour and find a quiet or empty corner or place to go to and sort it out. If you are in public, please donāt shout over your phone. No one cares about your personal arguments and no one wants any of it. Hang up and tell them youāll call back.
Bonus: This might give both of you the chance to calm down and sort out your differences in peace.
16.If all else fails, remember, āWhen in Rome, do as the Romans do.ā
Follow peopleās cues and do what theyāre doing. Watch what theyāre doing and follow suit. For example, when in a gathering at a restaurant, if no one has started eating, itās rude to dig in. Following the groupās lead wonāt land you in a soup! (hehe
)
Be considerate, respect others, have empathy, and all will be well.
ctto
There are some social rules which are unwritten, unspoken, yet everyone is expected to know. We give you a lowdown.
1. When you are over at someoneās place and they say, āI have a lot of work tomorrowā or āItās getting late.ā
This is your cue to take their leave because they really have to retire and no matter how pleasant, having friends/people over can be a taxing experience. While youāre at it, please clean up after you. Nobody likes guests who come over, trash the place, and leave.
2. When youāre riding with someone in their car for a considerable distance.
Four things here:
ā¢ Offer to split their fuel prices. Itās considerate and theyāll hesitate less if you ask them for a ride the next time.
ā¢ Donāt hog their radio/music player. Even if they do offer you to play your music, play something everyone will like.
ā¢ Donāt insult their car. Itās very inconsiderate, considering youāre getting an almost free ride.
ā¢ If youāre the only one sharing the ride, please sit in front. Nobody likes to feel like your chauffeur.
3. Your fragrance/cologne has to be discovered, not announced
Everyone likes a well-kept person, but not one who has bathed in perfume or deodorant. Every cologne has its own concentration levels, find it and apply accordingly. People like a soft fragrant breeze when you pass by them, not a waft of strong musk in their face.
4. Holding the door open or pulling the chair out for people is kind, regardless of gender.Chivalry is not dead, donāt kill it. When youāre in front of someone and stepping out, hold the door for others to pass, people will notice you and it will leave a good impression on them. It may even brighten their day if theyāre having a shitty one. If youāre with someone at a restaurant, hold the chair out for them. Everyone likes a well-mannered person. But donāt do the above if the people in question are far away and they have to do this awkward brisk walk just because you donāt have to keep the door open for a while.
5. When two or more people are huddled around you and are talking in low voices, theyāre probably having a private conversation.And they clearly donāt want you in on it. Learn to respect their privacy and excuse yourself quietly and gracefully. Theyāll appreciate your accommodating behaviour, and you just earned some social brownie points.
6. When someone is nervous or shy in a social scenario, DO NOT point it out to them.They know it better than you and pointing it out even in a joking manner or trying to make the situation light will decrease their confidence. Instead, distract them, make conversation, get them in a groove. Theyāll appreciate the help.
7. When making plans with friends in front of other friends.
Donāt. If you donāt want someone invited in your plans, donāt make them or discuss them while theyāre within earshot of you. It hurts their sentiments and eventually distances them from you. Not to mention if they invite themselves, thatās a whole new level of awkwardness. You donāt want that.
8. When in a social situation and you want to speak to someone you find attractive.Donāt overthink and overanalyse. Walk up to them and say hello. There is no better icebreaker in the world than a simple āHelloā followed by a smile. Donāt hit on them. Be a friendly new acquaintance. Politeness and good manners go a long way.
9. When someone you know has an obvious change in appearance, e.g., weight gain/loss, bald spot, acne.
It is rude and none of your business to comment on it. They already know about it and are feeling pretty bad themselves without you blatantly pointing it out to them. They might be working on it, but acknowledging what they have decreases their confidence in you and themselves.
10. When you want to send a point or suggestion across, hints wonāt work.
Donāt drop hints. It gets worse when people donāt get it, and when they do, it lowers your impression in their eyes. Speak up, itās the truth. You may come across as blunt and in-their-faces, but you will be appreciated for your honesty and straight talk.
11. Silence doesnāt have to be awkward.There is a reason the proverb goes, āSilence is golden.ā Silence is calm, serene. When in a social situation, always having something to talk is never necessary. Sometimes, silence is also appreciated, and it brings people closer too. There can be had many a conversation without a single word spoken.
12. Everyone has their personal space around them. Respect it.Donāt stand too close and talk. There is a socially acceptable distance at which you can stand and talk, that you can guess will make people comfortable. Even if youāre intimate with someone, itās still polite to talk with a respectable distance between the two of you.
13. When someone is walking their pet and you come across them.Please ask permission before you pet them. Many pets are newborns, or still young, and they arenāt as welcoming to strangers. They might get out of hand (literally, or otherwise) and harm you, or give their owners a hard time in getting them back in control.
14. An opinion is a very sensitive issue with many.
Just because you might be entitled to offer one, doesnāt mean that it is mandatory for you to do so. And if you are asked for one, donāt take offence if you are criticised for it. Itās okay for others to offer their opinions as much as it is okay for you to EĆĻrĆ©Å”Å” yours.
15. When talking on the phone and you enter into an argument.
Please do everyone else a favour and find a quiet or empty corner or place to go to and sort it out. If you are in public, please donāt shout over your phone. No one cares about your personal arguments and no one wants any of it. Hang up and tell them youāll call back.
Bonus: This might give both of you the chance to calm down and sort out your differences in peace.
16.If all else fails, remember, āWhen in Rome, do as the Romans do.ā
Follow peopleās cues and do what theyāre doing. Watch what theyāre doing and follow suit. For example, when in a gathering at a restaurant, if no one has started eating, itās rude to dig in. Following the groupās lead wonāt land you in a soup! (hehe
)Be considerate, respect others, have empathy, and all will be well.
ctto