PHPrincess Hart
Eternal Poster
1. Are you happy?
If youâre thinking you need to be in a relationship in order to be happy, then youâre doomed. Completely ****ing doomed. Yes, meeting someone you can love will make you ecstatic. But if youâre not already capable of being happy running solo, youâll inevitably fall back into misery, loneliness and just pure unhappiness.
Youâll then begin to question the relationship and your love for your partner â a partner you have every reason in the world to love. The problem is with time, that happiness your partner makes you feel fades. Itâs not because whatever you two share fades (and it took me a long time to figure this out), but rather because the novelty of the relationship has faded, and you fall back into your resting state.
And if that resting state makes you unhappy, no love or relationship in the world will make you happy for long enough. You should only get into a relationship if youâve figured out the secret to being happy when youâre alone.
2. Do you have the time and space to be in a relationship?
For some people, life is has room for endless individuals. In my experience, this is mainly because those people are bored most of the time. For those of us who have found a purpose in life, our schedules tend to fill up. But itâs not just about the time. We can usually squeeze in an hour or two of whatever, if we wish to. Itâs really about having the mental capacity and will to give this person sufficient thought and attention.
Why be in a relationship if you canât make it work? Why waste your time pretending you can give him or her what he or she needs, when you know you canât? I get you want to be in love. I do, too. But Iâm not going to half-ass it. She deserves better (whomever she is), and she deserves my fullest attention. But if I canât love her the way she needs to be loved, then why put the two of us through all of that?
Be honest with yourself. If you know you have other things that need to take priority, donât tell yourself â or your lover â otherwise.
3. If you were to meet the one, could you marry him or her, right here, right now?
This isnât to say that you have to marry them, or that you have to believe in marriage altogether. But would you be fully willing, and more than that, excited to devote your life to the two of you? Itâs OK if you canât. Itâs better that you accept the fact than keep lying to yourself. If you arenât ready for that level of dedication, then donât get into a relationship.
Sure, relationships come in different shapes and sizes, but in the end it all comes down to the same thing: Youâre either ready to make it work, or youâre not. And you know whether or not you are, but whether or not youâre willing to admit it to yourself is a different question.
-elitedaily
If youâre thinking you need to be in a relationship in order to be happy, then youâre doomed. Completely ****ing doomed. Yes, meeting someone you can love will make you ecstatic. But if youâre not already capable of being happy running solo, youâll inevitably fall back into misery, loneliness and just pure unhappiness.
Youâll then begin to question the relationship and your love for your partner â a partner you have every reason in the world to love. The problem is with time, that happiness your partner makes you feel fades. Itâs not because whatever you two share fades (and it took me a long time to figure this out), but rather because the novelty of the relationship has faded, and you fall back into your resting state.
And if that resting state makes you unhappy, no love or relationship in the world will make you happy for long enough. You should only get into a relationship if youâve figured out the secret to being happy when youâre alone.
2. Do you have the time and space to be in a relationship?
For some people, life is has room for endless individuals. In my experience, this is mainly because those people are bored most of the time. For those of us who have found a purpose in life, our schedules tend to fill up. But itâs not just about the time. We can usually squeeze in an hour or two of whatever, if we wish to. Itâs really about having the mental capacity and will to give this person sufficient thought and attention.
Why be in a relationship if you canât make it work? Why waste your time pretending you can give him or her what he or she needs, when you know you canât? I get you want to be in love. I do, too. But Iâm not going to half-ass it. She deserves better (whomever she is), and she deserves my fullest attention. But if I canât love her the way she needs to be loved, then why put the two of us through all of that?
Be honest with yourself. If you know you have other things that need to take priority, donât tell yourself â or your lover â otherwise.
3. If you were to meet the one, could you marry him or her, right here, right now?
This isnât to say that you have to marry them, or that you have to believe in marriage altogether. But would you be fully willing, and more than that, excited to devote your life to the two of you? Itâs OK if you canât. Itâs better that you accept the fact than keep lying to yourself. If you arenât ready for that level of dedication, then donât get into a relationship.
Sure, relationships come in different shapes and sizes, but in the end it all comes down to the same thing: Youâre either ready to make it work, or youâre not. And you know whether or not you are, but whether or not youâre willing to admit it to yourself is a different question.
-elitedaily
