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In many cases, the question of whether a relationship is good or not is not a matter of yes or no. āItās complicatedā is a common answer we get. āSome things in life are not black or white,ā is another.
We agree. Sometimes we just canāt put relationships (and the feelings and great moments and the drama in between) into a single box and label them as good or bad.
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Some women, however, have a tendency to rely on this philosophy too much to realize that thereās something amiss, that theyāre feeling things they shouldnāt be made to feel, that theyāre being emotionally abused by their significant other.
So how can you tell if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship? Here are signs to watch out for:
1. He has too much control/dominance.
Abusive partners may display excessive dominance and control. Weāre talking about both in the big and small schemes.
Being forced to watch a movie you have EĆĻréŔŔly said you donāt like can be harmless the first or second time. If it happens constantly (and weāre not just talking about movies here) to the point that you feel a part of your freedom is being stifled, something is wrong. It can be a sneak peek into his selfish character that wants to dominate every aspect of the relationship, and even your life.
If you ever feel the slightest suffocation, start entertaining the possibility that youāre a victim of an emotional abuse.
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Sign 2: He verbally humiliates you.
Hurling insults and cussing should not be part of any relationship, especially if your partner knows about your insecurities.
Case scenario: During a fight, he hurls insults at your physical appearanceāin front of your friends. Youāre humiliated and hurt. You cry in front of him. He apologizes, and you make up. A day later, he does it again. The cycle goes on.
If heās really sorry, he will, once and for all, decide to take steps toward self-improvementāespecially if his actions are hurting you.
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Sign 3: The smallest thing triggers his jealousy.
A harmless glance from a waiter, a friendly text from a colleague, a completely platonic hug from an old friend. If youāre dealing with an irrational, abusive partner, the smallest trigger can set him off.
If you find yourself looking over your shoulder constantly or depriving yourself of a social life in fear that he would find out and throw a tantrumāitās a problem that you need to address.
Image from One More Chance 2 courtesy of Star Cinema
Sign 4: He threatens to use physical violence.
Some forms of emotional abuse can be subtle or neutralized behind layers of disguise. Others, however, are much more direct. If he throws warnings about slapping, kicking, or punching you out of anger, itās just as bad as the real thing.
Our advice? Find a way to fix it before it happens.
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Sign 5: He makes your feel like everything is your fault,
The tragedy is that most abusive men donāt see the error of their ways. The even more tragic part is that they make you feel like youāre the one at fault. Like, youāre the reason youāre having a fight in the first place, because you were āflirtingā with the bus conductor or youāre too ālazyā or ādumbā or āuseless.ā
This is probably the hardest to come to terms with, especially if youāve been led to believe youāre the problem for so long.
GIF from Pretty Little Liars via You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now.
Women have different reasons for tolerating abusive behavior, either because they can take the blow, or they havenāt taken a step back long enough to realize it. You deserve better. Everyone deserves better.
We agree. Sometimes we just canāt put relationships (and the feelings and great moments and the drama in between) into a single box and label them as good or bad.
GIF from Pretty Little Liars via You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now.
Some women, however, have a tendency to rely on this philosophy too much to realize that thereās something amiss, that theyāre feeling things they shouldnāt be made to feel, that theyāre being emotionally abused by their significant other.
So how can you tell if you are in an emotionally abusive relationship? Here are signs to watch out for:
1. He has too much control/dominance.
Abusive partners may display excessive dominance and control. Weāre talking about both in the big and small schemes.
Being forced to watch a movie you have EĆĻréŔŔly said you donāt like can be harmless the first or second time. If it happens constantly (and weāre not just talking about movies here) to the point that you feel a part of your freedom is being stifled, something is wrong. It can be a sneak peek into his selfish character that wants to dominate every aspect of the relationship, and even your life.
If you ever feel the slightest suffocation, start entertaining the possibility that youāre a victim of an emotional abuse.
GIF from the Imitation Game via You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now.
Sign 2: He verbally humiliates you.
Hurling insults and cussing should not be part of any relationship, especially if your partner knows about your insecurities.
Case scenario: During a fight, he hurls insults at your physical appearanceāin front of your friends. Youāre humiliated and hurt. You cry in front of him. He apologizes, and you make up. A day later, he does it again. The cycle goes on.
If heās really sorry, he will, once and for all, decide to take steps toward self-improvementāespecially if his actions are hurting you.
GIF from MTV via You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now.
Sign 3: The smallest thing triggers his jealousy.
A harmless glance from a waiter, a friendly text from a colleague, a completely platonic hug from an old friend. If youāre dealing with an irrational, abusive partner, the smallest trigger can set him off.
If you find yourself looking over your shoulder constantly or depriving yourself of a social life in fear that he would find out and throw a tantrumāitās a problem that you need to address.
Image from One More Chance 2 courtesy of Star Cinema
Sign 4: He threatens to use physical violence.
Some forms of emotional abuse can be subtle or neutralized behind layers of disguise. Others, however, are much more direct. If he throws warnings about slapping, kicking, or punching you out of anger, itās just as bad as the real thing.
Our advice? Find a way to fix it before it happens.
GIF from The Vampire Diaries via You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now.
Sign 5: He makes your feel like everything is your fault,
The tragedy is that most abusive men donāt see the error of their ways. The even more tragic part is that they make you feel like youāre the one at fault. Like, youāre the reason youāre having a fight in the first place, because you were āflirtingā with the bus conductor or youāre too ālazyā or ādumbā or āuseless.ā
This is probably the hardest to come to terms with, especially if youāve been led to believe youāre the problem for so long.
GIF from Pretty Little Liars via You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now.
Women have different reasons for tolerating abusive behavior, either because they can take the blow, or they havenāt taken a step back long enough to realize it. You deserve better. Everyone deserves better.
