🔒 Closed Korni dyoks (1)

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Maria: Nay, nasan po yung wayis? (walis)
Nanay: ano ka ba naman Maria, tanda tanda mo na, ang tamang tawag dun.. "walis, wa-lis.. hindi wayis"..
Maria: okay po Nay, nasan po ba yung walis?
Nanay: yan, kuha mo naman pala e.. nandun sa may suyok..

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si Pedro at ang kanyang dalawang taong gulang na anak..

Pedro: anak, anong tawag mo dito? sabay turo sa alaga nitong pusa..

Anak: pu-ta (pusa)
Pedro: anak, hindi pu-ta.. pusa..
Anak: pu-ta..
Pedro: pu- - sa

Pedro: e eto, anong tawag mo dito? sabay turo sa kuting..
Anak: anak ng pu-ta..
============

Juan: tay, bigyan nyo ako ng pambili ng mga delata, dadalhin ko sa camping namin..

Tatay: anak, hindi delata ang tawag dun..

Juan: e ano po?

Tatay: kang goods
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FROG: what does my future hold?
FAIRY: you'll meet someone who wants to know everything about you.
FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party?
FAIRY: no. in biology class
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things you don't want to hear during your own surgery:
-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!
=========
MRS: hon, am I pretty or ugly?
MR: uhm.. both..
MRS: anong both? Pwedeng pretty and ugly?
MR: ang ibig ko sabihin, you're pretty ugly.
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BOY1: nkakakawa naman lola mo.
BOY2: bakit?
BOY1: nakasabay ko kasi magsimba nung isang araw, ubo ng ubo. Pinagtitinginan nga ng tao.
BOY2: papansin lang yun!
BOY1: bakit?
BOY2: bago kasi blouse niya!
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a boss confused about his Math asked his secretary:
If I give you P3M less 17%, how much would you take off?
SECRETARY: everything sir! Dress, ***, *****!
===========




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