🔒 Closed Joke

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Mom: baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a question.
Baby: sure mom
Mom: if your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your answer?
Baby: thank you po!!!
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BF: may malaki akong problema.
GF: wag mong sabihing problema mo lang problema natin dahil nagmamahalan tayo, ngayon ano ang problema natin?
BF: nabuntis natin si inday at tayo ang ama
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Pare1: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pare2: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Pare1: swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pare2: pare ako nanalo!
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Killer: father mangungumpisal po ako
Father: ano kasalanan mo?
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 tao
Father: bakit?
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po naniniwala ba?
Father: dati...pero ngayon trip trip na lang
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Patient: doc takot po ako sa bunot
Dentist: eto gamot pampatapang ng loob
Patient: (ininom ang gamot)
Dentist: ano matapang ka na ba?
Patient: oo doc! **** pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag ang bungo!
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1 panget na babe, hinoholdap
Holdaper: holdap ito! akin na gamit mo!
Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: anong rape? holdap nga to eh!
Babae: wala lang! nagsa-suggest lang...
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isang lasing nasalubong ang matabang babae na may kasamang aso
Lasing: hoy, saan mo nakuha yang baboy?
Babae: aso ito hindi baboy!
Lasing: huwag ka ngang sumabat! yung aso ang kausap ko!
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In a pet shop...
Customer talking to a parrot...
Customer: hoy! can you talk ha?! ****!!!
Parrot: yes i can!!! ikaw? ! can you fly ha? ****!!!
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Priest: ang mga bakla'y walang lugar sa kaharian ng langit
Mga bakla: carry lang po father...dun na lang kami sa rainbow mag slide-slide!!!
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****: pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter A
Pare: approachable?
****: mali
Pare: amiable?
****: mali pa rin
Pare: o sige siret na!
****: ANEST wehehe!!!
 
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