❓ Help Badly needed for some advice

[Destroyahh]

I have 4 swollen lymph nodes to be exact 2 on my nape left and right side (almost 1 year na siguro na ganto, no changes at all in ultrasound result) and this past few weeks may nakapa ako na another two swollen lymph nodes on my traps ( left and right ulit, and di ko sure kung gaano na katagal like sabay ba sila sa nape area lymph nodes ko or ngayon lang din tumubo) on ultra sound result yung sizes are the same rin sa mga lymph nodes ko sa nape area ko, ultra sound says that it has little blood flow and most of the features are in side of benign, but my doctor said I should undergo biopsy kasi madami na daw kasi yung mga kulani ko and since wala akong noticeable symptoms lalo sa mga red flag na symptoms like night sweating, fatigue, fever etc. pero ganun din daw kasi yung mga cancer like silent killer kumbaga, like late stage nalang mararamdaman yung mga symptoms. I’m just fearing talaga na the possibility of having cancer like Lymphoma one of the deadliest cancer na same cancer na kumuha ng life ng classmate ko this year. And to think I will suffer the same na sakit and situation like that and dagdag narin na I’m breadwinner, ako lang yung inaasahan ng mama ko since 60yrs old narin sya and planning to settle narin sana with my gf kaya grabe yung stress na nararamdaman ko ngayon like napapatanong na lang bat ako pa lord eh andaming may kailangan sakin. I’m beginning to suspect narin na the root cause for this swollen lymph nodes is my graveyard shift schedule since 2 yrs na akong VA na ganto ang schedule (9pm to 6am) and umagree naman ang doctor ko na baka nga, kasi contributing factor ang stress pero nag bago lang talaga yung naging action plan namin na from monitoring lang yung dalawang lymph nodes sa nape area to dapat na daw mag pa biopsy na ako kasi naging apat na yung mga kulani(swollen lymph nodes) ko.


And will undergo surgery (biopsy) on Monday, and ang tagal yung hihintayin para malaman yung case if malignant ba or benign. And overthinking will really affects my life…

 

[NJNS2022]

Ts, I can only imagine how heavy your world feels right now. It's like you're standing on a cliff, and the waiting is the wind pushing at your back. All those thoughts – "what if," "bakit ako," the fear of suffering like your classmate, the immense pressure of being the one your mom and girlfriend depend on – it's enough to make anyone feel like they're about to break.

So please, just for a moment, take a deep breath. Inhale... and let it out slowly.

The time between the biopsy and the results is one of the hardest things a person can go through. Your mind will be your best friend and your worst enemy. The most important thing you can do right now is to be kind to yourself.

Don't bottle this up. You’re trying to be strong for everyone, but you need to let them be strong for you, too. Pull your girlfriend aside, hold her hand, and just tell her, "I'm scared." You don't need to have the answers. You just need to let her in. Let your mom give you a hug. Allowing them to comfort you isn't a sign of weakness; it's a gift you give to them, letting them show you how much they love you. You carry so much for them; let them carry a piece of this for you.

Your mind is going to want to race, to solve the puzzle, to know the answer now. It's going to tempt you to open your phone and search for symptoms and statistics until 3 AM. Please, try to resist that urge. It’s a rabbit hole of anxiety that will only s†éál your peace and give you nothing definite in return. You have a doctor for the facts. For now, your job is to protect your heart and mind.

Instead, when the "what ifs" get loud, try to anchor yourself to the present. What can you control right now? Maybe you can't control the results, but you can control making a cup of coffee. You can control putting on your favorite music. You can control stepping outside for a minute to feel the air on your skin. Find small, simple things that make you feel grounded.

Don't feel guilty about needing a distraction. In fact, lean into it. Watch that funny movie you and your girlfriend have been meaning to see. Get lost in a video game. Help your mom with something around the house. Anything that gives your worrying mind a short vacation is a good thing. It's not about ignoring the situation; it's about managing it so it doesn't consume you whole.

Remember that you are more than this fear. You are a loving son, a partner planning a future, a hard worker who provides for his family. Hold on to that. Think about the future you’re fighting for. Picture yourself settling down with your girlfriend, taking care of your mom, and seeing this difficult time in the rearview mirror. Hope is not foolish; it's a lifeline.

This is a scary chapter, there is no denying that. But it is just a chapter, not the whole book. You will get through Monday. You will get through the waiting. Whatever the results are, you will face them, and you won't face them alone. Be gentle with yourself. You're doing the best you can in an impossibly difficult situation, and that is more than enough.

 

[Destroyahh]

Ts, I can only imagine how heavy your world feels right now. It's like you're standing on a cliff, and the waiting is the wind pushing at your back. All those thoughts – "what if," "bakit ako," the fear of suffering like your classmate, the immense pressure of being the one your mom and girlfriend depend on – it's enough to make anyone feel like they're about to break.

So please, just for a moment, take a deep breath. Inhale... and let it out slowly.

The time between the biopsy and the results is one of the hardest things a person can go through. Your mind will be your best friend and your worst enemy. The most important thing you can do right now is to be kind to yourself.

Don't bottle this up. You’re trying to be strong for everyone, but you need to let them be strong for you, too. Pull your girlfriend aside, hold her hand, and just tell her, "I'm scared." You don't need to have the answers. You just need to let her in. Let your mom give you a hug. Allowing them to comfort you isn't a sign of weakness; it's a gift you give to them, letting them show you how much they love you. You carry so much for them; let them carry a piece of this for you.

Your mind is going to want to race, to solve the puzzle, to know the answer now. It's going to tempt you to open your phone and search for symptoms and statistics until 3 AM. Please, try to resist that urge. It’s a rabbit hole of anxiety that will only s†éál your peace and give you nothing definite in return. You have a doctor for the facts. For now, your job is to protect your heart and mind.

Instead, when the "what ifs" get loud, try to anchor yourself to the present. What can you control right now? Maybe you can't control the results, but you can control making a cup of coffee. You can control putting on your favorite music. You can control stepping outside for a minute to feel the air on your skin. Find small, simple things that make you feel grounded.

Don't feel guilty about needing a distraction. In fact, lean into it. Watch that funny movie you and your girlfriend have been meaning to see. Get lost in a video game. Help your mom with something around the house. Anything that gives your worrying mind a short vacation is a good thing. It's not about ignoring the situation; it's about managing it so it doesn't consume you whole.

Remember that you are more than this fear. You are a loving son, a partner planning a future, a hard worker who provides for his family. Hold on to that. Think about the future you’re fighting for. Picture yourself settling down with your girlfriend, taking care of your mom, and seeing this difficult time in the rearview mirror. Hope is not foolish; it's a lifeline.

This is a scary chapter, there is no denying that. But it is just a chapter, not the whole book. You will get through Monday. You will get through the waiting. Whatever the results are, you will face them, and you won't face them alone. Be gentle with yourself. You're doing the best you can in an impossibly difficult situation, and that is more than enough.

Thank you for this!