#joketaym

Tawa muna tayo guys tanggal stress 🤗

Hehehe. Tamaan na ang matamaan :p

Teacher: Juan , what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Juan: A TEACHER MAAM Teacher: :vamp:

Teacher: Juan what is the chemical formula for water? Juan: H I J K L M N O Teacher: What are you talking about? Juan: Yesterday you said H to O. Teacher: :nailbiting:

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America Maria: Here it is! Teacher: Correct! Now class who discovered America? Class: Mariaaa! Teacher::cry:

Teacher: How old is your father? Kid: He is 6 years Teacher: What?? How is this possible? Kid: He became father only when i was born :) Teacher::shifty:

NARS : Duktor, bakit nyo tinanggihan yung pasyente kanina? DUKTOR : Saan?, sa Delivery room? NARS : Hindi, yung nasa Receiving room. DUKTOR : Ahhh, yung bakla’. NARS : Opo, Baka sabihin may discrimination tayo, porke bakla siya. DUKTOR : Nakuuu!, ano naman ang raraspahin ko sa kanya? Nars...

Teacher : Use the word "beautiful" in a sentence? Student : "My teacher is beautiful, isn't she?" Teacher : Thank you, it's very flattering. Now, translate it in Tagalog. Student : "Ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?" Teacher: :shifty:

Misis: Hon, anung gift mo sa akin sa silver anniversary natin? Mister: Dadalhin kita sa China. Misis: Wow, ang sweet naman. Eh, sa golden anniversary natin? Mister: Susunduin na kita. :)

Pare: Ang galing ng nabili kong hearing aid. Hi tech at ang lakas ng dating! Kumpare: Magkano ang bili mo? Pare: Oo, kanina lang Kumpare: Hi-tech nga. Hahahaha!

Madre: Baka magbunga ang pagkakasala natin, Padre. Natatakot ako... Padre: Ipaubaya natin ang lahat sa nasa itaas. Di nya tayo pababayaan. -Sakristan: Hoy, huwag niyo akong idamay jan naglilinis lang ako ng kampana dito sa itaas! Hahaha!

Juan: Nang girlfriend ko pa lang ang misis ko ang tawag ko sa kanya ay Darna dahil seksi sya. Ngayon ang tawag ko sa kanya ay Dorna. Pedro: Bakit Dorna? Juan: Kasing lapad na kasi siya ng DOOr namin :) - Ngek! Hehe!

Mister: Hon, anung ulam natin? Misis: Andyan sa mesa, pumili ka. Mister: Hon, sardinas lang ang andito. Anu bang pagpipilian ko? Misis: Pumili ka kung kakain, o magrereklamo ka! Mister: Kakain kaya ako. I love you Hon :) -Hahaha!

Gf: Binabalaan kita, malapit nang dumating ang Daddy ko! Bf: Ha, eh wala naman akong ginawang masama ah? Gf: Oo nga, kaya kung may binabalak ka gawin mo na. Bf: Olrayt. (y)(y)

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here." -Hahaha.

3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd...

Funny Joke Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning. Ops! Haha!

70 ways to make a woman happy: Number 1 is shopping. And the rest is 69. Haha. I totally disagree to this. :p

my mom still thinks that LOL means lots of love. she sent me a message saying: Your grandad has just died, LOL :nailbiting::p

Reporter: Any similarities between Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio and Ninoy Aquino? Erap: All I know is that they all died during a holiday! That’s all I know… :) Haha. Erap for President!