PHRelationship advice is a tricky thing. When itās unsolicited, it can be annoying and sometimes even insulting to most friends i guesse. But when you actually seek it out, it can be hard to find what you're really looking forālike a definitive answer on whether or not yours is healthy, and what's truly important.So I am sharing with you some sage of wisdom from the book of experts.
Regularly opening up can help bring you closer,Once you think that your feelings donāt matter, wonāt be heard, or are not worth sharing, you open the door to harbor negativity and resentment.ā That includes positive feelings, too, she/he points outāespecially when theyāre connected with your partner. āPeople need to feel appreciated in any relationship.( You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now., L.C.S.W.)
It's called "mirroring." Hereās how it works: When youāre having an important discussion with your partner, repeat back exactly what you heard them say before you comment on it.This not only dramatically improves the accuracy and quality of communication by allowing for correction of misinterpretations, but also creates of strong sense of being heard and understood in each partner.ā(Gilona)
A random act of kindness doesnāt take much, but it can make a big difference.
A couple that communicates their financial goals, and is willing to work together to achieve them, will likely have a deeper bond.
excerpt from Oprah and Gayle
Schedule dates to talk about your relationship.
āCommit to investing an hourāon an ongoing basisāto work on strengthening your relationship, troubleshooting, and making it more satisfying,Set up a weekly or monthly dinner where you only talk about relationship issues or goals.. (You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now., Psy.D. )Be candid about your feelingsāthe good and the bad.
Regularly opening up can help bring you closer,Once you think that your feelings donāt matter, wonāt be heard, or are not worth sharing, you open the door to harbor negativity and resentment.ā That includes positive feelings, too, she/he points outāespecially when theyāre connected with your partner. āPeople need to feel appreciated in any relationship.( You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now., L.C.S.W.)
Figure out the recurring issues in your relationship.
Then, do something about them.
Every couple has these. Maybe you repeatedly fight about your intense work schedule, or your partnerās spending habits. Whatever it is, not addressing the roFocusing on the issue rather than blame can allow for more effective problem solving and a team-based approachot of the problem means youāre going to continue to fight. Itās helpful to focus on āspecific and discrete behaviorsā when you do this instead of labels and interpretations.Donāt expect your partner to be your BFF.
We expect so much from our relationships these days. We want our partner to be a best friend, confidant, co-parent, and companion. Yet, this sets us up to be disappointed when our partner cannot fulfill our needs.(David Klow,)Before commenting, repeat their words out loud.
It's called "mirroring." Hereās how it works: When youāre having an important discussion with your partner, repeat back exactly what you heard them say before you comment on it.This not only dramatically improves the accuracy and quality of communication by allowing for correction of misinterpretations, but also creates of strong sense of being heard and understood in each partner.ā(Gilona)
Remember, don't just say how you feel...show it.
Sure, itās a good idea to say, āI love youā often, but āthe act of showing matters, because we donāt say those three little words as often as we should.(Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D.)A random act of kindness doesnāt take much, but it can make a big difference.
Don't be afraid to talk about money.
Itās so easy to fight about finances but talking about moneyāthe right wayācan actually help make your relationship stronger.A couple that communicates their financial goals, and is willing to work together to achieve them, will likely have a deeper bond.
Choose to love your partner every day.
Love is an active daily choice, and you have control over how youāre feeling. āWhen we wake up and the first thing we notice is a flaw in our partner, it will be hard to feel connected and in love for the rest of that day,If we wake up and identify something we love or admire, that sets the tone.ā(You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now., L.C.S.W. )
Fight in a productive way.
Every couple fights, but fighting in a way that moves the conversation forward and clearly explains why you're feeling a certain way can make a difference. Silvershein recommends being specific about how your partnerās actions impact you. For example, āWhen you forget to text when you'll be late, it makes me feel like you don't care.ā āWhen we begin shifting our language to share how our partner's behavior makes us feel rather than just telling them what to do, I find that couples become more fluid and more aligned in their daily functioning.excerpt from Oprah and Gayle
