🍔 Food · Travel Method one of Two: Handling Another's Jealousy

[kline achxyl]

Learn the difference between love and jealousy. Jealousy is not love and feeling jealousy does not mean that you are in love. Some people mistake jealousy as an act of love, when it's really an act of insecurity and/or a lack of control. People who get jealous tend to be insecure and to have feelings of shame as well.

Draw boundaries with a jealous partner or friend. If your partner is acting out due to jealousy, draw lines. Do not answer questions you are not comfortable answering. Do not cancel plans with your friends, or cut off contact with someone who matters to you.

• Gently and firmly explain: "I will answer your questions, but only once. I will not give you the same answer over and over."
• "I will listen to how you feel, but I will not isolate myself from the people I love."
• "If you throw things or yell, I will leave the house and spend the night at my parents' house."
• "If you do not tell me how you feel, but you sulk or give me the silent treatment, I will tell you how that makes me feel and then I will leave the house until you call me."
  

Don't accept abuse. Do not assume responsibility for things you did not do. It may be easier to apologize and blame yourself when you are blamed for another's behavior. However, you know your own motivations. Don't let anyone convince you into believing that you were flirting when you weren't flirting, or that you "provoked" jealousy and subsequent bad behavior.

• Listen calmly to your partner if he or she can use "I" statements, but do not subject yourself to a barrage of accusations.
• If your partner physically restrains you, hurts you, or breaks things, leave him or her.
  

Get help. If you feel in any way threatened by a partner or other person who is jealous of you, get away from them if you can. Jealousy is the leading cause of spousal murders, and is a typical component of spousal battery.

• Get out of the house if your partner is physically aggressive, and call police or a domestic abuse hotline.

 

[mirG]

Thank you for sharing!