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(Photos: Dreamstime, Photo Illustration: R. A. Di Ieso/Vocativ)*** therapist Jason Winters sparked a debate in Canada after stating that a dialogue about pornography should be part of the countryās *** education curriculum.
Winters gained support for his comments after they were published last week in a CBC article, but those who didnāt read beyond the headline labeled him a pervert who was advocating for pornography to be shown in class, which he stresses he is not. Instead, Winters, a clinical psychologist who also teaches in the psychology department at The University of British Columbia, is calling for schools to acknowledge the fact that students are most likely already watching pornography, teach them how to separate reality from fantasy, and assess the impact, both positive and negative, that **** can have on their interpersonal relationships.
āI see the fallout of poor *** education in the undergraduates I teach and then also in my clinical practice,ā he said. āPeople not getting decent *** ed can have a hugely negative effect on them that tends to persist into adulthood.ā
Winters recommends a graded approach when it comes to teaching children about sexuality, and says that discussion around pornography should be incorporated at the right time. While gauging the right time is difficult, a You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now. from the University of New Hampshire shows that some children are exposed to pornography, intentionally or otherwise, from the age of 10, with that number increasing dramatically from age 12. Most important, says Winters, is that all conversation be free from āany sort of moral judgement.ā
āIf you talk to your average teenage boy, especially one in the senior years of high school, **** use has become normalized. Itās not something that would be considered a big deal.ā
There will always be parents who disapprove of talking about pornography in an educational setting, and Winter believes that all idealogical viewpoints be considered when coming up with the best way to introduce it into the curriculum. However, he says this should also be based on the understanding that oneās child might not follow their example when it comes to abstaining from pornography or they might come across sexually provocative material unwittingly and not fully understand what it is theyāre looking at.
āIf theyāve been told that they canāt watch this, that itās shameful or sinful or immoral to look at and theyāve not been given any education about it, thatās when you end up with problems,ā Winters said. āYouāre increasing shame, guilt, embarrassment and anxiety and then, on top of that, they donāt understand what theyāre seeing. For them, this may end up seeming like the reality of ***.ā
While anxieties around the topic of *** ed often center on the idea that it will lead kids to having *** earlier, the opposite is true. Though there arenāt studies that look at **** specifically, Winters explains that if one is to compare comprehensive *** ed with abstinence-only *** ed āthe data is absolutely unequivocalā that the former group are more likely to wait until a later age before having ***. He believes that taking the same pragmatic approach with pornography will lead teenagers to make better choices.
Winters laid out for Vocativ why he believes the discussion of pornography should be included in the school *** ed curriculum:
Students are already looking at ****
āKids are going to encounter this, either by accident or intentionally. So simply not talking about it is the head-in-the-sand approach. It doesnāt make it go away and it doesnāt make it any less likely that kids are going to seek out pornography or encounter it accidentally. Itās better to prepare them than pretend that itās simply not going to happen.ā
Pornography doesnāt represent real relationships
āIf kids arenāt ****-literate, they donāt understand that what theyāre seeing is a fantasy, much like when we watch Hollywood movies or read a romance or sci-fi novel⦠Pornography is about distilling the most intense aspects of a sexual encounter into these short clips featuring lots of visual stimulation, but it misses out on all of the other things that happen in a sexual encounter, even if itās just a casual sexual encounter. It misses out on things like consent, it misses out on things like using contraceptives, it misses out on things like the emotional connection that typically happens before a sexual encounter.ā
**** use can become a problem
āI donāt buy into the model of **** addiction, as there is no scientific evidence to validate this as a legitimate disorder. When you see problematic **** use itās usually indicative of something else, and the **** becomes a bad solution to the problem that person is experiencing. Take your average 13- or 14-year-old boy, heās had no comprehensive *** ed, no discussion about pornography, he discovers this, heās horny, and itās a very arousing and rewarding experience. Say heās struggling in other parts of his life: anxiety about school, difficulties with mood, heās a socially awkward kid who gets bullied. **** can become his refuge. It becomes his way of coping with all of these unpleasant experiences in his day-to-day life, because he can escape for that fleeting moment when heās watching **** and ********ting. For some people it becomes a very maladaptive coping mechanism. That should be part of the conversation, too⦠This is much like video games, or people that watch much too much TV or spend hours on the internetāit becomes an avoidance behavior.ā
Watching **** can impact self-esteem
āThis is a great argument for why this should be part of *** ed. The people that are featured in pornography are generally more attractive than the averageāwhen people want to watch people have ***, they probably want to watch attractive people have ***. The problem with that is if kids start watching pornography theyāre going to assume that all men have 9- or 10-inch erections and women have these perfectly sculpted bodies, perhaps with fake breasts. Knowing that can be important in terms of those comparisons.ā
Pornography can have positive effects later in life
āPeople donāt tend to focus on potential positive impacts, but that has shifted over the last five or 10 years. What theyāre finding is that when itās consumed by people who have had comprehensive *** ed and understand what theyāre seeingāthat this is fantasy and doesnāt necessarily match up with real-life experiencesāyou do see positive effects [Edās note: Winters is referring to studies conducted among undergraduate populations]. Thereās permission giving: people that come from a conservative background start watching pornography and, as long as it doesnāt increase shame and guilt and all of these toxic, negative emotions, it can be a way of giving them permission to try things that they wouldnāt have tried before⦠We also know that people who watch pornography regularly tend to be more interested in *** in general, so you see increased amounts of sexual behaviors in their relationships. It doesnāt necessarily take away from *** in relationships, it may actually increase the amount of ***. It tends to also increase sexual satisfaction and intimacyāit can be a net positive for relationships.ā
However, despite the potential for positive outcomes, Winters says itās unlikely that talk about pornography will be included in *** ed curriculums any time soon. He points to the negative stereotypes held by older generations, which is compounded by a lack of awareness about just how prolific **** is today.
āParents now grew up pre-Internet, or at the beginning of the Internet, so I donāt think they understand how different this is,ā he said. āIf you talk to your average teenage boy, especially one in the senior years of high school, **** use has become normalized. Itās not something that would be considered a big deal.ā
