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funny jokes

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    🔒 Closed Holdap na naman (old jokes)

    Hinoldap si lumen Pero dahil wais.. nilagay nya P500 sa p@nty Kaya hindi nakuha, Pero nang ibili nya sa grocery.. ayaw tanggapin.. fake daw!!! dahil nakalabas ang dila ni Ninoy!!!!
  2. S

    🔒 Closed Don't mess with a pinoy (old jokes)

    A pinoy in New York bumps into a blackman... BLACKMAN: Hey, watch it!!! you mudda****a!!! Pinoy: **** ito ah!!! MADAFAKA RIN SANA!!! ngo ngo!!!
  3. S

    🔒 Closed Daming ulam (old jokes)

    Anak: tay wala na naman tayo ulam ah… AMA: mahirap ngayon ang buhay anak.. tiis muna tayo, isipin mo na lang bawat subo mo na sasabihin ko ulam yun anak… Anak: Sige tay!!! AMA: nilagang baboy!!! Anak: hhhmmmm.. sarap… Ama: sisig na isda!!! Anak: huhuhuhuhuh L AMA: bakit ka umiyak...
  4. S

    🔒 Closed Parang si Jerry din yun akin (old jokes)

    Therapist: To what animal do you compare your p3nis??? Juan: Lion!!! its strong!!! Pedro: giraffe!!! coz its long Boy: Mouse!!! Juan and Pedro: What??? Why mouse??? Boy: Coz its chased by pussies!!!
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    🔒 Closed Maglinis kasi ng tenga (old jokes)

    Speaker: who among you had experienced habing S3X with a ghost??? A farmer raised his hand. Speaker: Really???!!! how does it feel to have s3x with a ghost?? Farmer: ay put@!!! akala ko GOATS!!!
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    🔒 Closed Kawawa naman si Lolo (old jokes)

    Host: Ilang taon na kayo lolo?? Mananawagan ba kayo?? Lolo: opo, 98 na po... Host: Wow, tanda niyo na pala... sige po manawagan na kayo.. Lolo: kuya, umuwi ka na.. hindi na galit si daddy sa yo!!!
  7. S

    What a surprise (old jokes)

    Pare 1: Ang gara ng sapatos mo pare!!! Pare 2: Sorpresa ng misis ko.. Pare 1: saan nabili?? Pare 2: ewan ko!!! nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama kaninang umaga, may medyas pa nga eh!!!
  8. S

    🔒 Closed Napaka palad (old jokes)

    Manghuhula: Magiging mapalad ka sa larangan ng s3x. Duduy: Wow!!! ibig nyong sabihin, marami akong makakas3x??? Manghuhula: Hindi. Palad mo lang lagi ang makakas3x mo!!!
  9. S

    🔒 Closed Ayan ang sagot (old jokes)

    Si Juan ay asar na asar na sa kanyang buhay at nagtangkang magpakamatay. Umakyat siya sa pinakamataas na building. Nang marating niya ang edge ng rooftop, tumingin siya sa baba... "ang taas!!!!" sigaw niya... nagdalawang isip siya at nagpray.. "Lord, itutuloy ko pa ba??? Please give me a sign"...
  10. S

    🔒 Closed Turuan mo kasi (old jokes)

    Girl: nakipagbreak ka na raw sa BF mo?? Girl2: oo hindi kasi sanay humalik kainis.. hindi lang yun.. isang style lang ang alam.. hindi ko ma-feel... Girl: ano style ba alam ng BF mo?? Girl2: Flying kiss!!!
  11. S

    🔒 Closed Sige na Hon (old jokes)

    Mister: (kissing wife's shoulder) hon, sige na Misis: (nairita) bumabagyo!!! Mister: ayaw mo yun?? malamig!!! Misis: t@nga!!! hindi ka na nahiya!! ang daming tao dito sa evacuation center!!!
  12. S

    🔒 Closed Nice job (old jokes)

    After s3x with a college girl... Mayor: how much? Girl: 200 Mayor: ha? Mabubuhay ka sa 200? Girl: sideline lang yan mayor, blackmail talaga negosyo ko..:cool:
  13. S

    🔒 Closed BEAUTY PAGEANT (old jokes)

    BEAUTY PAGEANT Judge: what if you find out your boyfriend has AIDS, what will you do? Contestant: I'd still love him (EVRYBODY CLAPS.) ..because AIDS doesn't matter!
  14. S

    🔒 Closed Trichology (old jokes)

    JORGE: Pare, alam mo ba na ang pinaka-mahabang buhok sa katawan ng tao ay yung buhok natin sa puw3t? BANJO: Bakit mo naman nasabi yan, pare? JORGE: Kasi, yung buhok natin sa puw3t ay abot sa pilik-mata natin! di mo ba alam yun? BANJO: Kalokohan! paano mo mapapatunayan yun? JORGE: Madali...
  15. S

    🔒 Closed Simpleng chix lang, sapat na. (old jokes)

    Girl: Bakit mo ba ako nagustuhang ligawan??? Boy: Kasi mabait ka.. pino ang kilos.. hindi mahalay magsalita at higit sa lahat mahinhin ka... GIRL: teka... malaki ba ang bur@t mo??
  16. S

    🔒 Closed Aw, basag (old jokes)

    Boy: May I hold your hand? Girl: No thanks, di naman siya heavy...
  17. S

    🔒 Closed Ulam na lang kulang (old jokes)

    Goliat: Pareng Teban, nanalo ka raw sa raffle, isang sakong bigas.!!!! Eh, bakit lukot yang mukha mo? Teban: Nanalo nga pero isinaing na pagtanggap ko. Tulungan mo akong ubusin ito ha?!!!
  18. S

    🔒 Closed Now you know (old jokes)

    Do you know what is Vine TEA??? Vine Tea... Vine Tea is actually a sukli, when your money is Php50, when you load 30... so your sukli is Vine Tea right!!! hehehe...
  19. S

    🔒 Closed Ingat sa pag type (old jokes)

    Spelling can kill you. watch out: Husband on an out of town assignment. sent a text to wife... "Trip is wonderful!!! Am having a good time... Wish you were Her!" :)
  20. S

    🔒 Closed Hulaan ko (old jokes)

    I saw a woman with big b0obs wearing a sweat shirt with "GUESS" on her chest. So I said, “implants????” she slapped me!!!! Kainis yun!! Papa-guess siya, tapos pag mali, mananampal!!!
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